The up-side of adversity

Many years ago, I told someone I had a problem, and she said, “No, you have an opportunity.” I thought this was just a silly platitude, but over the years, I began to understand what she meant. Every event has positive and negative aspects, and it is we who choose which way we are going to look at it.

Social distancing during the Covid-19 crisis simply destroyed my routine way of doing things when every workshop, speaking engagement, and support group from early March through mid-May was canceled. It happened to all of us.

My partner Ed and I used up nearly two weeks doing projects around the house, then we realized we really needed to get back to work. We started looking for the opportunity in our problem, and realized we needed to find a different way of working with our dementia care partners.I have always resisted video technology for educating and consulting because it seemed so distant and impersonal, but now it seemed to be the only option.

We were finally kicked into action when my friend Linda Burhans, the creator and host of the Connecting Caregivers Radio Show, called and asked, “Have you ever done your support groups on line?” She too was looking for the opportunity in her problem, which was similar to ours. Not only did Linda’s call help me decide to take the on-line plunge, but we also decided to team up as co-facilitators on a series of on-line support groups using the Zoom internet platform.

What an eye-opener this experience has been!It is definitely different from meeting with a group of people in a room, but that “distance” and “impersonal” quality I was so concerned about has just not happened. Our first on-line support groups have been warm, meaningful, fun, and even joyful.
And they have provided outreach and connection that were previously not possible. For example, the first meeting Linda and I facilitated had our usual core of central Florida care partners, but people also joined us from Washington state, Ohio, and Ontario, Canada!

Ironically, all I needed to discover this new opportunity was to take the advice I give care partners every day of the week. When they struggle with loved one’s whose personalities and behaviors are changing due to dementia, I often say, “You have to try something! Your situation has changed. Your old responses and behaviors will no longer work. Try something new!”

E-mail or call me to learn about how to join our on-line dementia care partner support groups. They’re free!

Debbie Selsavage is a Certified Trainer and Consultant in the Positive Approach to Care, and a Certified Dementia Practitioner. Her company, Coping with Dementia LLC, is dedicated to making life better for individuals living with dementia. Contact Debbie at [email protected].

Until next time remember: “We all deserve the Best”

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