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The holidays can be a very difficult and stressful time of year for anyone, and this can be especially so for victims of dementia and their caregivers. There are lots of rituals and traditions that people think are important. You want to follow them so everything will be “normal.”

But, as a caregiver, your situation is anything but normal. You would like to have a “normal” holiday, but you may have to take a deep breath and make some adjustments for your situation. Consider the possibility that doing things differently for the sake of your loved one may bring positive memories for your family, rather than a holiday struggle with tradition. Continue reading “Traveling or Staying Home for the Holidays with your Loved One”

I facilitate a couple of support groups in Citrus County and one of the most frequently asked questions is, “When do I know it is time for my loved one to stop driving?”

This is a question that most caregivers face, and one of the most emotionally difficult questions they will face. The license to drive represents freedom, control, staying connected. For many it is a measure of adulthood and self worth. For some males it even represents masculinity. But at some point safety for the public and safety for your loved one will override all of these factors. When this time comes, someone has to be the bad guy. Continue reading “When is it time to take away the keys?”

“Better” is something that every caregiver wants to be; to provide the best care they possibly can for their loved ones. It is a very overwhelming task, and as the disease process continues the task gets even larger.

I recently completed the 2nd Annual Coping with Dementia Caregivers Conference and one of the items we passed out was the “Ten Essentials” for becoming a better caregiver. It was very well received by the attendees, so I thought I would share this with you here. Continue reading “How to become a better caregiver for your loved one with Alzheimer’s and dementia”

No matter where I am or what I am doing – support groups, workshops, or training – the same question always comes up. What is the difference between Alzheimer’s and Dementia? I sometimes want to ask, “Why? Does it really matter to a caregiver?” Continue reading “What is the difference between Alzheimer’s and Dementia?”

This is a topic that I am asked about frequently and is apt to be controversial. But it is important, because it is one of the most common problems in the relationship between a caregiver, families, and a sufferer from dementia. What do you say when your loved one asks a question for which the real-world, literal, factual, answer can only cause them more confusion and pain? This happens frequently, and as a frequent occurrence it is an issue you must be prepared to deal with in a way that hopefully will not violate your own sense of honesty and integrity. Continue reading “What do you say when the truth will hurt?”

Our last article was about “How do you know when it is time”. Underlying this whole discussion is the very difficult decision about how to care for your loved one, whether to seek professional support, and how to recognize what kind of help you need. I have not tried to sell the idea that assisted living is always necessary and ultimately inevitable. I have my own views about this, but I consider it my mission to provide you the knowledge and resources so you can make a decision that will be comfortable for you. The sooner you implement support the better off you will be. This is not a sprint this is a marathon and the odds are that you will need support of some kind. This should not be looked at as giving up any control but as keeping you healthy for this journey. Continue reading “Things to look for in choosing an ALF?”

I am often asked by caregivers “How do I know when it is time?” Is there a sign? If you are asking the question, it usually means it is time. This is a common question I am asked by caregivers. Sometimes the signs are very subtle and other times they are not, and you may have to act quickly. Your loved one is not normally going to tell you that they think they cannot drive anymore and hand you the keys to the car. If they do this, consider yourself very fortunate. Continue reading “How do you know when it is time?”

A friend of mine told me a story that illustrates some of the most important understandings about how to care for a person with dementia.

He was a middle-aged man whose mother was under professional care in a memory care community.  For her 85^th birthday, he wanted to bring her joy by going all out with a catered private dinner.  He, his wife, and his adult daughter arranged to use a private dining room at her community, and bring in a fine meal, served on fine china. Continue reading “Routine and Reality”

On April 25, 2015, my new business Coping with Dementia LLC had its official debut and ribbon cutting at the Second Annual Dash for Dementia fund-raiser hosted by The Memory Enhancement Center of America. Coping with Dementia LLC, is a new training and education business that will focus on person-centered care for people with Alzheimer’s and dementia.  I would like to thank everyone for their support in both being present and in their well wishes for the business’s success. Continue reading “Coping With Dementia LLC’s Official Debut”

I would like to take a moment to welcome you to my website site. I will be adding informational writings to this site regularly, so please check in often and follow my blog.

I am very excited about my new business “Coping with Dementia LLC,” to  train and educate caregivers — both professional and lay persons — on a better and more effective way of interacting with people who suffer from Alzheimer’s and dementia. As you have read, I too was a caregiver to a spouse with dementia, and I had to make some difficult choices while lacking the information and tools to understand what was happening or how to properly deal with challenging situations. Continue reading “Recognizing Behaviors”